"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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