I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
jump out the window naked night went bad
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
