i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
