my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
