Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
