No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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