Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
