they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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