I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
