So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
no, he came in my armpit
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I want a musical about memes.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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