Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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