it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
