Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
