Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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