I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
