some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
