there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
