But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
