Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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