my mouth tastes like poor choices
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
