You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
