I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
