This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
