it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
