so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
