Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
