you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
How's work?
Spinning.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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