Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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