I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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