If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
