My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
sex in a hospital.. check
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
