Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
North Korea, Best Korea!
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
