There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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