i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
