He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
