I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
