I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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