Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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