This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
