You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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