I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
