How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
