HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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