There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
