Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
