I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
