the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
