i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
