My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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