and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
That's when you crack a 10am beer
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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